The saddest post that ever is (My Covid Era)

The current events are continuing at such a rapid speed that my digestion and comprehension of the news is non existent.  I have stopped listening.  If that makes me “ill informed” than so be it.

The people that I love are painful spaced 6 ft apart and mostly in my digital view.  The space hurts my heart in ways that isolate me even more. I simply am not sure how much more I can take and I, certainly, am not alone in this. 

There is evil in this world.  People are dying and are fighting for lives. There is no cure for death.  We all have our beginning and end. It’s a horrible reality and a painful lesson that I seem to need to learn again and again but never really can. 

Suicide is up and mental stability is down. Everyone seems to be at their breaking point and here I sit, at my computer, staring at my computer screen.  Will my words break you more? Maybe my silence would be more beneficial.

This blog, a place that I once shared my life and received comodery, friendship, peace, and made a living is now broken, along with my heart. If I am honest it has been for awhile but it’s worse.  Through Covid, the internet has revealed that the vast majority of people that bring me comfort and love are nothing but different than me.  I feel alone. Yet, I know my friends do too.  This mutual feeling does not bring us together.  That is a first and I don’t quite know how to handle that.

Churches are fighting, Politicians are being politicians, and people working in the medical field and on the front line are exhausted. 

All of the things that made me proud to be who I am are now just painful reminders of what divides me. It’s hard. It’s hard. For. Everyone.

I keep waiting for a leader to step up to show us the cool breeze that is unity in disasters like this…… I keep waiting for that leader to bring us together to sing by a campfire in perfect harmony. However, no one is singing and the metaphorical guitar is startlingly out of tune. I want to shout, “Just sing people! Damn it. Feel better and sing so I can feel better!” Still no one sings but instead everyone seems to be screaming.  Screaming at each other and screaming in desperation. What is happening? 

Where is the leader?  

Who is he/she?  

I need to find her because everything is falling apart. 

Cape May County, I love you. I do.  You aren’t perfect and neither am I. I wish I could see through the political nonsense so I can understand which is the right way and which way is wrong. 

My words are pointless and this post is a waste of time.  Maybe tomorrow I will understand what my roll is in fixing this mess. I guess I have hope but until then…… this sucks. 🤷‍♀️